I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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