What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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