I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
