I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
