He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
