I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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