Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
