Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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