I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
