she woke up with a sticky ear
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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