I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
