Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
