I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
