I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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