ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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