Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize