Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
