And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I am spending my child support on dildos
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
