Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
