I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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