Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
love makes seman taste better
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
