I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
