on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I got inside last night via doggy door
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
