you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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