sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
