Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
