Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
me + whiskey = a bad person
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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