Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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