All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
