Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
