Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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