we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
