His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
