it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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