I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
