Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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