He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
