a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
