there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
