We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
well you can't waste a boner
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Randomize
