Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
