can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
