I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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