dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
