he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
