To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
even my farts smell like vagina
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
