I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize