i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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