Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
it hurts more in the daytime
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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