i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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