Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
someone owes me an orgasm
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
