What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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