Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
you will always have a special place in my vag
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
