in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
