If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
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