I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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