Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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