your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
