i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
