I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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