They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
We are all done wearing pants today
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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